"Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine."
- Radio news announcer

"All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium."
- Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster

"We'll be back with the recrap after this message."
- Ralph Kiner, Mets sportscaster

"In the hunt to buy the San Francisco Giants was George Shinn, owner of the Charlotte Harlots."
- Ralph Kiner, Mets broadcaster

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
- Ray Forsythe, Clemson recruit, who was ineligible as a freshman   because of academic requirements

"While sitting in a tavern, someone hit my nose from behind."
- reason given for insurance claim

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields'   Cookies.

"Mattie's Restaurant and Yoghurt Palace, 'An alternative to Good Eating'"
- Restaurant Business Card from Decatur, Texas

"I didn't accept it. I received it."
- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to former President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.

"Mr. Milosevic has to be careful.  The calendar is ticking."
- Richard Haas, NBC News consultant

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Hi I'm Dean White, Dick, of the college."
- Richard (Dick) White, Duke University academic Dean introducing himself at a faculty dinner.

"Danger Slow Men At Work"
- Road sign in Brunei

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."
- Road sign on US 27

"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964."
- Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."
- Ron Atkinson

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
- Ron Atkinson

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
- Ron Atkinson

"Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is."
- Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation."
- Ron Pickering

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
- Ron Pickering

"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President

"He's passe. Nobody cares about Mickey anymore. There are whole batches of Mickeys we just can't give away. I think we should phase him out."
- Roy Disney, Walt Disney's brother, 1937

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