"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he   wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history.  But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day.  But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a   manned mission to Mars

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
- Dan Rather, television news anchor

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

"The places where I need work are on my inside and outside games."
- Darnell Hillman, professional basketball player

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield

"Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres."
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes."
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games."
- David Garcia, baseball team manager

"Beyond its entertainment value, Baywatch has enriched and, in many cases, helped save lives.  I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue with a project which has has such a significance for so many."
- David Hasselhoff, Actor

"All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath."
- David Miller, US DOE spokesperson, on protecting yourself from nuclear radiation

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."
- Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"We're just physically not physical enough."
- Denny Crum,  Louisville basketball coach

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."
- Detroit Daily News

"What we have is two important values in conflict: freedom of speech and our desire for healthy campaigns and a healthy democracy.  You can't have both."
- Dick Gephardt, Missouri representative

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win."
- Doug Collins, basketball commentator

"We are trying to change the 1974 Constitution, whenever that was passed."
- Donald Kennard, Louisiana state representative

"We don't want balloons, the plastics, the horror!"
- Doug Heller, Green Party media coordinator

"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?"
- Driver school applicant

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."
- Dwight Eisenhower

Back to Stupid Quotes Archive