Laugh and the World Laughs with You

Words To Live By

- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

- He who hesitates is probably right.

- No one is listening until you make a mistake.

- Success always occurs in private, and failure always occurs in full view.

- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

- Two wrongs are only the beginning.

- Monday is an awful way to spend 14.3% of your life.

- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

- The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

- If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

- Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

- Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.

- I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

- Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

- I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.

- I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

- I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

- Not afraid of heights-afraid of widths.

- A day without sunshine is like night.

- I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Back to Brain Teasers Archive