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P.A. System 1. Mid-way across the Ocean: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices. 2. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airlines new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza. 3. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail! Eject! Eject! 4. Fasten your seatbelt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car) 5. This is your Captain speaking....these new planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to..so you'll have to give me some leeway...... 6. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the inflight movie. 7. Drinks are on me...or I'll have what the Captain's having... 8. Hey capt'n, take another hit man... 9. Get the parachutes ready... 10. I'm sure everyones noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now. |
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