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Humour Actual Want Ads

 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

> A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

> For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

> Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

> Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

> Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

> We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

> Great Dames for sale.

> Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

> Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

> Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

> Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

> The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

> Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

> Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

> Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

> Stock up and save. Limit: one.

> Man, honest. Will take anything.

> Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

> UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

> Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

> Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

> Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

> 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

> Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

> Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

> Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

> Illiterate? Write today for free help.

> Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

> Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

> We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


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